A Few Jokes


 An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.

He asked the driver, “Got any ID?”

The driver asked, “Bout what?”

An Arkansas policeman pulled a car over and told the redneck driver that,  because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in  the statewide safety competition.

     “What are you going to do with the money?” asked the policeman.

     “Well, I guess I’m going to get a driver’s license, and maybe buy some insurance” he answered.

     “Oh, don’t listen to him,” yelled a woman in the passenger seat. “He’s a smart aleck when he’s drunk.”

     This woke up the guy in the back-seat, who took one look at the cop and moaned, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.”

     At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, with a Spanish accent, “Are we over the border yet?”


   It’s an incentive to show up.

   It reduces complaints about low pay.

   Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

   Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.

It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

It makes fellow employees look better.

It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

   Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn’t so embarrassing.

Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at the bar.

Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.

The janitor’s closet will finally have a use.

Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as “gross.”