Redneck Etiquette


 Plucking unwanted nose hair is time consuming work. A cigarette lighter
and a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours.  It’s
a good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.

Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand me down item.

While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in
private using one’s OWN truck keys.

Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.   However, if
you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.


Wine Tips

When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly
so as not to “bruise” the fruit of the vine.

If drinking directly from the bottle, you should
always hold it with your fingers covering the label.



A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.



When  sending your wife down the road with a gas can,
it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.